THE CELEBS OF THE DISPUTED MAY 19, 2019 GENERAL ELECTIONS – PART 2

A sequel to part 1, this article continues to look at individuals that trended because of the nullified 2019 general elections. Without wasting time, let’s delve into the thick on things:

Mary Chilima:

“Mukufuna Mixtape? Tikupatsani”: The elegant Madam Chilima.

Mary Chilima was already famous before the elections. Her elegance, impeccable countenance, and public appearances beside her husband had already gotten people talking. However, her popularity spiked a step further after dropping some bars on a beat in support of her husband’s bid for the presidency. It’s fair to say that the track split people’s opinion. While others acknowledged her lyrical prowess and forced rhymes, others cringed over her delivery and found the decision to step in the studio to be utterly ill-advised. That her music career ended as soon as it began probably supports the latter group’s opinion. Nevertheless, a good section of Malawians are still waiting for her maiden album or at least a mixtape. Maybe she will drop one ahead of the 2025 general elections.

Smart Swila:

“Hello, ukuti miniBasi yatani koDi? Yowoya nganya”: Mr. Swila.

We will never know if Mr. Smart Swila really meant to contest for the presidential elections. What we know for sure though, is that he showed up to submit his registration forms, only to be let down by a combination of Blantyre’s inconsiderate traffic jam and the sluggishness of his running mate. 

Allegedly, Mr. Swila had travelledfrom Chitipa to honor the time MEC had allocated him to submit his papers. But when his turn came, the running mate, who happened to be in possession of the registration documents, was nowhere to be seen at the venue. Stranded and running out of time, Mr. Swila frantically dialed his running mate to give the running mate a sense of urgency. And it is his angry outburst over the phone that made him go viral because his predicament resonated with most Malawians who use public transport. It is no secret that every Malawian who uses public transport has had their plans inconvenienced by a minibus at one point or another. However, the difference is that the majority of people whose plans get compromised by minibuses do not end up trending on social media. 

 

Ah Shadow a Kalilani:

If faces tell a story, then the ones behind the gentleman are screaming

 Two facts: First, granted his phenomenal music career, Taygrin was already famous before these elections. Second, there’s a general consensus out there that he is a pompous chap. For instance, before the elections fever took off, a video clip had circulated on Twitter and WhatsApp in which he appeared to distance himself from the misery that regular Malawians face on a daily basis. Iyeyo sizimamukhuza. Or at least then. Heading towards the elections, his abhorrent opinion made a 180⁰ turn when he realized that he would need public sympathy in his pursuit of the Lilongwe Center parliamentary seat. All of a sudden the chap began to make moves to win over common folks. He engaged a PR team that began releasing strategic images that showed him doing goodwill in his constituency. The Malawian Twitter community had a field day with the images, including the ones in which he was seen assisting with grave digging and garbage collection. To an extent, his failure to win the parliamentary seat proved that karma still has the ability to be a beach.

 

Peter Kuwani, Reverend Kaliya, and Prof. John Chisi:

Malawi’s Three Stooges: Mr. Chisi, Mr. Kaliya, and Mr. Kuwani.

In addition to undermining the country’s democratic dispensation, President Mutharika’s decision to boycott the presidential debate denied Malawians the opportunity to be entertained by his funny mastery of Chichewa. One can only imagine the number and nature of clips and memes that would have been harvested from the debates. Luckily, aware of what Mutharika’s absence represented, Peter Kuwani (Mbakuwaku Movement for Democracy), Reverend Kaliya (Independent), and Prof. John Chisi (Umodzi Party) stepped up to give Malawians the fun that President Mutharika had resolved to deny us. We will never know if these guys really thought they had realistic chances to triumph come May 19. But certainly the tremendous effort they put in to entertain the general population during the presidential debates was remarkable. Peter Kuwani’s restlessness on the podium, Reverend Kaliya’s monotonous voice that would make you confuse him for a homecell leader at your local church, and Prof. John Chisi’s Tumbukarized Chichewa added an interesting dimension to the presidential debates.

 

Sheriff Rango:

Don’t say you can’t see the resemblance: Beautifying Malawi.

Campaigning for a presidential bid usually brings a different kind of pressure on spouses of aspirants. In a judgmental society like Malawi, where people conjecture an aspirant’s relevance in the election based on the appearance of their spouse, this pressure is multiplied tenfold. And so, to withstand the pressure, spouses turn to the services of top notch fashion designers and makeup artists – unless you are Chimulirenji’s wife, of course. But as it has been proven over and over, fashion designers and makeup artists tend to have a knack of scheming to embarrass their clients now and then. Madam Getrude Mutharika fell victim to such scheming when her fashion designer decided to model her looks off Sheriff Rango. The photo collage that juxtaposed the Madam’s face and Rango’s went viral instantly, proving that the resemblance between the two is cunning. That the authorities moved to deter Malawians from sharing the image by threatening detention proved that the resemblance was super blatant. Though the deterrent worked to an extent, some bold Malawians did not flinch. They continued to poke fun at Sheriff Rango for resembling the Madam.

 

LONG LIVE MALAWI'S DEMOCRACY!